Sex can be a daunting enough experience as it is (with a new partner, or for the first time, for example) but think about how you might feel if you had a medical condition which meant your vaginal muscles involuntarily spasmed whenever penetration was attempted.Believe it or not, that’s actually a real life medical condition–vaginismus–and it sounds as though it’s a pretty difficult thing to deal with. But one brave sufferer, an an anonymous 23-year-old Reddit user known only as her account name, ‘Heatherroneous’ took to the forum site to explain a little more about the condition.Advertisement – Continue Reading BelowThe thread author describes how the spasms she endures “basically close the vaginal opening, and pushing against this closure causes lots of sharp pain. Some couples also describe a feeling like “hitting a wall” – this is because the vagina becomes an impenetrable fortress when it’s in spasm,” she adds.
This diagram from Vaginismus.com illustrates what happens in sufferers
Most Popular”All throughout adolescence, I was unable to use tampons due to pain. It was mildly annoying, but I didn’t think much of it,” she recalls. But it was only when she left school and met the man that would go on to become her husband that she noticed something unusual.”We tried to have sex when we were dating, and disaster struck,” she said. “It was very painful, he couldn’t get past the ring of PC [pubococcygeus] muscles, and after trying everything we could think of, we just gave up.”The couple got around the issue by simply doing “other things” while trying not to think too much about the problem. However, at Heatherroneous’ first gynecological exam, she experienced what she describes as a “traumatising experience” when her doctor tried to insert the speculum.
“I screamed in pain the entire time,” she said, adding: “It was around then that we decided we really needed to look into this.”The writer and her husband went on to get married, “knowing we would not be able to consummate our relationship,” and after a while and a whole lot of Googling, she ended up self-diagnosed herself with vagismus.As part of her steps towards recovery, Heatherroneous went to see a sex therapist, which frequently proves useful given the fact that the condition tends to be tied up in psychological angst.She was also given a recovery kit, which consists of a dilator to help sufferers slowly build up to allowing something to enter their vagina.”Recovery was a bumpy road,” says Heatherroneous, “but this last March we were finally able to have sex for the first time! Our fourth wedding anniversary was last August. The time elapsed between the purchase of the kit and our first shag was about three years.”Sounds like a success story to me, spasming vagina muscles and all.Psychosexual and Relationship Therapist Sarah Alpert explained everything you need to know about vaginismus from a medical point of view:It’s often caused by psychological issues. “Causes of vaginismus are multiple and can include sexual abuse, fear of pregnancy, fear of being ‘hurt’,” explains Dr Alpert.But it can be caused by physical issues, too. “Relationship problems or damage caused during child birth can also be a cause,” the expert explains. It’s not just related to sex. “Vaginismus can be spasming at the penetration of anything at all including tampons. Sometimes penetration is impossible and in milder cases it can be very painful,” says Sarah.It can be overcome. “Vaginismus has one of the best success rates of all the conditions. Treatment can be offered from a psychosexual therapist using a combination of therapies including, CBP, Psychoanalysis-relaxation exercises, Pelvic floor/kegal programmes.” Follow Cat on Twitter.
From:
Cosmopolitan UK