To most people, the movie Wedding Crashers is a lighthearted comedy romp — with some gender politics that, umm, let’s be honest, have not aged all that well. However, to people deep in the throes of planning a wedding, it’s a bone-chilling horror film that feels all too real. There are plenty of reasons it’s rude to crash a wedding, but making anyone feel that uneasy on their special day should easily dissuade you from considering crashing. Sure, Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn made it look like showing up at weddings uninvited is just all fun and games; a victimless crime that may even lead to true love — so long as you avoid the “stage five clingers.” (Like I said, not-so-great gender politics.) But in real life, just showing up uninvited has the potential to ruin the bride or groom’s day, be awkward AF for everyone, and possibly even ruin friendships.
But what exactly qualifies as a wedding crasher? Well, there are few different types: There’s the stranger who just wants to sneak in for a free meal; there’s the uninvited guest who just decides to show up anyway; or the person who was invited, RSVP’d no, but changed their mind at the last minute; and, of course, there’s the uninvited plus one. All are rude, and mean unwanted drama and strife for your hosts on their wedding day. And why is it such a big deal? Well, here are three very good reasons that will make you think twice about just dropping in.
1Your Hosts Have Spent Months Planning The Wedding
If you want to have a full-on panic attack, just start googling how to plan a wedding. Just taking a peek at the various “handy checklists” is enough to make me sweat and my teeth chatter at how complicated and expensive it is to plan the event. Now imagine spending months (maybe even a whole year) steeped in that mindset, and how it might feel to have an uninvited guest or even a stranger push their way into the ceremony or reception and disrupt months of planning. Are you angry by proxy? Same.
2There’s No Room For Wedding Crashers At The Table — Literally
Maybe you think, “Hey, it’s a big wedding, so really how big a deal would it be for just one or two extra wedding crashers to turn up?” The answer is “huge,” especially if the the reception includes planned seating arrangements.
One of the most challenging parts of planning a wedding is putting together a seating chart. It may actually be the most political and fraught part of the whole experience because you need to be sure to put the right groups of people together who will get along and have the best chemistry possible. It can be a very delicate balancing act that can easily be thrown off. Not to mention that there is a fee for each and every plate, so not only will you be disrupting the table setting, but also making the bride and groom literally pay for it. Speaking of which…
3Yes, There Is An Actual Cost For You Crashing
Weddings are freaking expensive. No, seriously, according to a poll conducted by The Knot in 2017, out of nearly 13,000 couples, the average wedding costs — wait for it — $33,391! And that doesn’t even include the cost of the honeymoon. Now granted, the million dollar weddings included in the survey may be throwing off the average cost, but the fact remains that a little unscheduled appearance could literally cost your hosts upwards of $268 (the average cost per guest according to that same poll). Are you starting to see why crashing a wedding is not cute? You’re basically stealing from a friend, who is probably already in mad debt at this point.
Wedding crashing is not some victimless crime, or a small social faux pas — it’s just incredibly rude. It’s also a very effective way to lose the respect of a friend or family member. So ask yourself, is that really who you want to be? The person getting all the side-eye at the wedding and who will forever be known as the crasher who made the bride go overbudget? I promise you, you don’t. Also, if you RSVP yes to a wedding and then don’t show, it’s just as bad — but I’ll save that rant for another day.
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