If you’re able to orgasm, that’s pretty damn fantastic by itself. But if you are just an incredibly busy person who’s looking to speed up the process a little, you’re in luck : “The more you learn about your own body’s responses, the more adept you’ll be at ith Your Ex. Here, experts share their best tactics for orgasming FAST. Used individually or all together, they’ll help you get there in record time.
Get super familiar with what does it for you, first.
To hasten your orgasms with your partner, first spend a little extra time giving yourself one. Pay attention to your body and mind right before you climax — where you’re touching, how much pressure you’re applying, which muscles tense up — says sex educator Dorian Solot, coauthor of I Love Female Orgasm. Then re-create those same moves during sex for a faster orgasm.
It’s also important to cultivate an exciting mood. “Every woman is unique in what she needs to feel — and stay — in a sexual mind-set,” says Susan Crain Bakos, author of The Orgasm Bible. “It could be candlelight and soft music, deep breathing, or even porn playing in the background.” So figure out what atmosphere works for you, then set that tone before jumping in to sex.
Before you start having sex, get yourself ~physically~ in the mood first.
One way to ensure faster climaxes with your partner is to prime yourself before you even see them. “Building excitement throughout the day will keep you in a heightened state of arousal,” says Fulbright. Fantasize about what you guys will be doing later that evening, visualizing every detail. “Your body responds to stimulation more quickly if you’re already turned on mentally,” explains Bakos.
Speaking of stimulation, masturbating just to the brink — but not allowing yourself to finish — ensures that you’ll be bursting with excitement before you’re even read to bone. When the two of you hit the sheets, “your body will quickly return to the level of buildup you’ve already achieved, and your guy can finish you off in a hurry,” says Solot.
Use positions that maximize clitoral stimulation.
Woman-on-top is probably the easiest pose to get you off because you control the angle, depth, and speed and can easily touch yourself. To get clitoral stimulation, grind against his pubic bone. Varying the move may crank up the heat faster. “Gyrate your hips in an oval rather than up and down,” suggests Bakos. “You’ll tease your clitoris every time you circle forward.”
“Doggie-style is another quicker-climax pose,” says Fulbright. Your partner is angled in a way that brings you deep penetration. Plus, if you get self-conscious during sex, facing away from your guy helps you tune out your nerves.
To up the ante even more, squeeze your PCs (the muscles you contract to stop the flow of urine) during intercourse…no matter what position you’re using. “Flexing these muscles pulls on the clitoris and vagina, creating more intense friction, which helps give you an easier, stronger orgasm,” says Bakos.
Multi-task it UP.
Zeroing in on the major erogenous areas is crucial, but to hit your high note even faster, multitask. “Anytime you can stimulate more than one spot at the same time, you’ll up your allover excitement, which can push you over the edge sooner,” says Fulbright. For example, while he’s going down on you, ask him to insert two fingers and do the “come here” move. Or spin around into reverse cowgirl. You’ll have the back wall of your vagina stimulated at the same time that you can touch your clitoris. Have him touch you all over during: Rubbing your breasts, inner thighs, neck, etc., adds to the orgasm-inducing sensations.
Lube, lube, lube, lube, lube, and more lube.
It’s the best! Adding a dollop of lubricant seriously reduces painful friction.
And call in reinforcements if you want ’em.
It’s simple math: Vibrators offer more strokes per second than hands do. If you’re worried about your partner’s ego, try a finger vibe that slips over one of his digits and enhances, rather than replaces, manual moves.
This post was originally published in 2011 and has been updated.