Trust might be the most important factor in any relationship, romantic or otherwise. To trust a friend or partner is to feel at ease. And who doesn’t want the people in their life to make them feel at ease? Being trustworthy is also an attractive quality in a partner. I can worry myself into oblivion over what WebMD says that bump on my leg might be. There’s no room in my life to worry about a cheating partner. But how do you know if you truly trust your partner? And what are the signs you trust your partner?
It’s easy to slap a smile on your face and tell a friend that you “completely trust your partner,” even though you found a text to their ex on their phone just the other day and have been worrying about it since. But having real trust in a partner is deeper than that. It means seeing that same text to the ex on their phone and not worrying about it for a second. (And not because you’re in denial, because you know your partner isn’t about to cheat on you.) I spoke to Clinical Psychologist and host of “The Kurre and Klapow Show,” Joshua Klapow, Ph.D. to figure out exactly what the signs you truly trust your partner are.
If you don’t check all of these boxes, however, that doesn’t mean that you don’t trust your partner. “Trust is a deeply personal, subjective and emotional experience,” says Dr. Klapow. “The signs come from deep within us. When it comes to trust there are a few tell tale signs of that you have it for your partner.”
1You don’t worry about them betraying you.
As mentioned before, if you trust your partner, you won’t worry about them screwing you over. But that extends beyond actual screwing of other people. “[It’s] not just infidelity,” adds Dr. Klapow. “But betrayal of any kind — lying, gossiping, not holding in confidence things you say or do.”
2You can be vulnerable with them.
Trusting a partner means being comfortable being yourself around them. “You can be naked physically and emotionally,” explains Dr. Klapow. “They can see your flaws, your fears, your deepest secrets and you feel safe sharing these with them. You will tell them things you don’t feel comfortable telling others. You will show them parts of you others aren’t allowed to see.” Yes, even your habit of eating chips in bed sometimes.
3You can be honest with them about tough subjects.
If you trust your partner, you won’t worry about how they’ll react to what you tell them, even if it’s not the best of news. “You can be brutally honest with them without fear of retribution,” says Dr. Klapow. “About your fears, your hopes, your dreams. Your likes and dislikes about what they are doing or saying.” You know that they won’t judge you, no matter what you share with them.
4You believe your partner has good intentions.
A sign of trusting your partner is that “you believe what they say, believe they have your best intentions in mind and even when you disagree or are disappointed,” explains Dr. Klapow. You truly feel like your partner is on your team. “You don’t have the feeling that their actions were done to betray you,” explains Dr. Klapow.
Remember, though, trust is different for everyone, and we all have different relationships with trust in general. “Sometimes we have all of these signs of trust,” says Dr. Klapow. “Sometimes a few. Sometimes these signs of trust fade and then come back. But if the more of these present the more and deeper trust you have for your partner.” Trusting your partner in all of these ways is ideal, but you’ll know down in your gut if you trust the person you are dating or not.
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